HOME?

"When are you going to your home?" Kumar asked Sandhya. 

"Next Wednesday" Sandhya answered. 

When Kumar left for the office, Sandhya went to deep thoughts. Why Kumar has mentioned 'your' home? When you are married it is more like 'our' home. Sandhya's parents and in-laws live in town. Sandhya is a homemaker, during her kids’ summer holidays she visits her home town. 

From the past 8 years, her in-laws and her husband will call it is her house. Her parents and relatives call her in-laws house as ‘Her’ house. Sometimes she does not understand, if she has 2 homes, but feeling homeless.

Her in-laws say

“ It is not the way we deal in our house”

“Please don’t bring your home rules to this house”

“Don’t forget to take this while going to your home?”

Sandhya is confused. When you marry a person, and you are ready to accept their family as yours, building new relationships between the families, she is ready to call her in-laws home as “our” home, why can’t Kumar calls her parents home as our home. Why he always say it is “your” home?

It doesn’t mean that Kumar is a bad person. Kumar is an open-minded, caring and loving husband. And her in-laws are also warm and friendly. However, they refer to her parents’ house as hers. Every time they say this, a question arises. Is that house is not Kumar’s? If she can own this house mentally and verbally, why not Kumar can own that house?

She is okay when they say your parents’ home. But when they say it is your home, she has a problem.

Whenever she is sick, she cannot ask her Mom-in-law to make her an extra cup of tea. She cannot ask her Father-in-law to bring sanitary pads. She can’t ask her husband to help her with extra chores at home, because of guests, because she doesn’t want to give an extra burden over his office work. There are times she got a thought that does she belong here? Even when she and in-laws are moving freely. If it was her parents’ home, she can get up lazily at 10’O clock. Especially, for this reason, she missed her home.

This is only one side of a coin. The other side is her parents.

But ironically, whenever she comes to her parents home, her parents, aunts, siblings say

“How is everyone at your home?”

“How do you do things at your home”

She spent 25 years at that home, still, she is considered as outsider after marriage. What if she was born as a boy? Then would she consider that home as hers?

She was born in that house. She loved the people in that house, and they loved her. The people in that house have been with her in kith and kin till her marriage. Now her mother is making special dishes, her father is bringing special ice cream, her brother is crying when Sandhya leaves. She is happy when they express their love, but the indirect meaning, a you-will-not-be-with-us-for-too-long message is disturbing her. Even though she is compromised that she can’t be there for a long time, will that imply she is just a guest every year?

She can’t own her parent’s home as hers now. However, she cannot own her in-laws home also, as there are some invisible boundaries drawn for their relation. It is not like she is not comfortable or doesn’t get love at both the homes, still, she feels like she is homeless sometimes.

As Indian women, her heart will be 50% at her parents and 50% at her husband and in-laws. Is this where the flickering of emotions start in a women’s life, just like Sandhya?

5 WAYS TO MAKE YOUR KIDS FINANCIALLY RESPONSIBLE

“The best thing you can give to your child is, financial knowledge” – Robert Kiyosaki

Teaching our kids about saving money is the greatest gift that we can give as parents. However, the lessons should be more than that; because the financial knowledge opens up the gates to their freedom and independence.  Here are a few methods to raise financially responsible children.

1. Teach the value of money:

Depending on their age start teaching the value of money, how it will be useful for their living. In the journey of raising them, do not miss an opportunity to teach the value of money. For example today almost every teenager is using a credit card. But they don’t know how the interest multiplied. When they come to college, the credit amount becomes lump sum. When you give a credit card, teach them how the payable amount multiplies. So that they can know how money works.  

2. Give financial knowledge:

Giving financial knowledge is not transferring adult stress to them. It is giving an outline of your budgets like your expenses, savings, and interest rate. It helps to learn about money and in the long run, they find interest in financial operations. Robert Kiyosaki, the author of the bestselling book, “The Rich Dad and Poor Dad”, is more specific of giving children the knowledge of finance. He says that he learned money importance from his Rich Dad, which bought him success today. He learnt how money works for rich, and how other people work for money.

3. Involve them in budgeting:

Having an open talk with your kid about how you save, how you pay bills on credit cards. Rich dad of Robert Kiyosaki explained the cash flow of liabilities and assets. He explained with the help of blocks diagrams and arrow marks instead of massive charts and accounts. At the age of 10, Robert understood the cash flow. Children understanding ability is more when you speak in their language.

4. Let them experience:

Provide some real money to manage your expenses. For example, take them to grocery shopping and ask them to handle the holiday shopping, let them spend the money. Provide them with your support but let them make choices. Patrick Payne, a professor at Carolina University says that the kids must understand there will be compromises involved. Kids must understand how much we (adults) give up forgetting something else. And there is a cost for everything.

5. Encourage:

As a parent, you need to give encouragement and support while nurturing the child. Even though when they fail in some of their financial actions, encourage and guide them the right way. Teach them to the power of tracking their money. Encourage to pay their bills at the learning age. Educate them to “earn while you learn”. This method not only encourages them to manage their earnings but also handle new challenges.

            The best presentation for a child on their birthday is “Piggybank”. Teach them the importance of savings; encourage them to get interested in financial matters. No matter what you teach the kids, they remember what you DO! So respect the money first by yourself and show that to your kids. Robert Kiyosaki says “Right from the small age my rich dad encouraged me to involve in money doing. That made me realise why money is important.”

Do you think it is important to induce financial responsibility? How will you raise kids financially strong?
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EVERYTHING YOU NEED TO KNOW ABOUT PARENTING A QUEEN

Children come through us to make us happy. Can we let them grow on their own? Can we leave them without guiding them? It is obvious if you have a girl child you will be more cautious. Let us give her wings to fly and strong claws to land. Women are labelled as delicate, patient, soft, and sensitive. Can’t girls be strong, materialistic and cold-hearted? Let us know what makes her different from a delicate princess.

1.      Self-discipline:

Discipline is important for everyone, especially for a lady boss. Discipline will be her superweapon. Promise management and planning in every aspect will make her more influencing personality. 

2.      Self-defence:

Self-defence is not only kicking and punching but also snapping if necessary. Girl boss always wears an invisible shield to protect herself from physical and verbal abuse. 

3.      Handling failures and breakups:

Failures or breakups are inevitable in life. Girl boss needs to handle those failure/breakups with grace.  Let her face those, and let her rise with double speed.

4.      Financial management:

All men think financial management can be only done by them. Still, I know women who give their finding management to their men. But times change!! Teach your little princess how to deal with her treasury. 

5.      Space management:

Do you know one's attitude can be determined by the things one use?  Teach your little girl how to organize, declutter her space. Let it be her favourite dress or failure which is pulling her back, teach her where to place in her wardrobe/mind wardrobe.

6.      How to shut people out:

For a girl in teenage, there will be so many boys who will come forward to help. They casually argue with the young girls for time pass. There are people who give their valuable suggestions in every aspect of her. Queen needs to know what to listen, and she needs to know how to shut them out. She needs to know who to shut out!

7.      Health:

A girl/women are the main pillars for a family, she must be healthy enough to handle a family. "Health is wealth" is an old proverb. You know the value this proverb, only when you are sick. A healthy body gives you a healthy mind; in turn, it gives you confidence. A Queen must be strong physically and mentally.

8.      Balance Work and home:

The big confusion arises when a girl gets married. How to handle both career and home? Dear men note this down. A woman who is balancing her career and home is not an easy task that you can do.  A Queen needs to know where to draw a perfect line between her career and home.

9.      Loving what you do:

We women experience little bit confusion every time. Having guilty consciousness when you leave your kid in a day-care or thinking of your project at home, or guilty feeling when you are having me-time, like this we all experience these kinds of confusion every time. Dear Lady Boss, love what is in your hand at present. Don't think of what happened

10.  Believe in gut feeling:

All the time there is the inner self, which guides us in the right path. Nature has given us a special power; mostly our gut feeling will be 100% sure than men. Believe in that gut feeling.

A Queen knows when to pamper when to punish, and when to surrender. Raising her like a queen is in our hands. Hope your little princess is a queen. Let’s celebrate our girl child and give a boost to her wings.