WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN?

   

 Tulasi is starting at the ceiling. " 90 days...90 days!!!", She muttered under her breath. She couldn't sleep properly. Its been 90 days Tulasi has seen her. " What's the matter with her?", Thought there hundred and twenty seventh time today.

           From her early teens Tulasi befriended her. With her Tulasi's life had become roller coaster ride. Tulasi laughed with her, cried with her, fought with her. She didn't changed her ways. She loves Tulasi and visited Tulasi every month. When she went, Tulasi used to think of her.

But now it's almost 3 months, no sign of her. Tulasi checked everything, the result is' negetive'. 

         Tulasi unconsciously took her mobile phone and opened front camera."Am I losing hair?" Tulasi checked her reflection. " Shit!!" Tulasi is in frustration. When she was there, she used to take care of Tulasi's hair, health, beauty, everything. Yes, she is little bit of hyppe, but inside she is sweet. She wanted Tulasi to be herself. She made decisions on Tulasi's behalf, when she is around. She is such a charm, that Tulasi don't want to go anywhere. She transformed lazy Tulasi to fitness-freak Tulasi. But now Tulasi stopped doing Yoga(actually she don't want to), becoming more and more grumpy(may be because of her friend's absense).

             Tulasi thought one more time, " where is she when I needed her most??  Hmmm... This is it..I am going to meet Dr. Niranjana and find where she is". Tulasi couldn't go to sleep that night. Tulasi woke up and checked all her ultra sound scanning reports are in place or not and packed that in the bag. All set for tomorrow's appointment. Tulasi got back to her bed and tried to shut eyes as well as her thoughts. 

            The report says " Impression of Polycystic ovary syndrome" 

For the last time she whispered " Where have you been my friend..PERIOD?

P.S. Dedicated to all women out there fought or still fighting with PCOD/S. 

PCOD/S is not only one thing to deal with. Women has to deal with lots of mood swings, sleep deprivation, skin problems, infertility, hair loss, weight gain and many more.

7 HABITS OF HIGHLY EFFECTIVE MOTHERS

Famous writer Steven Covey written 7 habits of highly effective people. I thought to focus these habits on mothers.

We mothers experience different emotions, at times nameless emotions too, while we have kids.

Mom guilt, chores anxiety, lacking me time, dont know when to start or where to start. So lets see how these habits can change our life styles, and making us more lovely, caring mothers.

1. Put end in mind:

Think of small issues we face everyday with them, and what it going to do in near future. For example, struggling for waking them up in the morning. You allowed them extra 30 min of play time last night or 'you' didnt finish your chores early last night, it effects the kids sleeping time, which results in their late wake up. Like this, everything related to kids are again connected with mothers. If we talk rude, they will talk rude. They catch up our words, behaviour quickly. But we are unaware of it, as it our unconcious doings. So while doing anything, remember that kids are watching, it will have an affect in their future.

2. First understand and then be:

The best gift you can give your kids is "time". Spend some time to understand, how they are growing,what is effecting them right now. The kids can be of any age, but when you spend time with them, it enhances your friendly connection with them. Which increases your chances of kids listening to you. Even if you give screen time to them, timely visits make them feel they are important to you. If possible be with them during screen time. Plan your day like you give alternate hours of being with them and playing individually.

3. Be proactive: 

Vote for yourself first while eating. Motherly love cannot eat if kid has not taken meal, but if moms didnot eat, they can't handle kids. Most of us think of eating after kids' meal. Early eating is always good for young mothers, especially when kids are fussy eaters. You need energy to feed them, you need energy to clean up their mess. Even my daughter was a fussy eater, she took minimum of 40 min time to eat her cerelac. Meanwhile I used to feel hungry, and I couldn't pause her food, as she would not eat again. So I followed this step, and found myself more energetic while feeding her, more stories, more fun during meals. With my enenrgy levels down, I will not be in a good mood or energetic, so I may prefer mobile phone to stories.

4. Put first things first:

To fight post partum blues, 'me time' helped a lot.  May be it is early morning or late night, choose to have atleast 30 minutes for yourself. Even if you child is a kid or grown up. With this you are teaching them to priority to themselves. There is lot of life beyond home. Atleast for 30 min a day take time to relax, or morning excercises, or simply sitting and enjoying.

5. Think Win-Win: 

General excuse that we say about spending time with kids is our busy schedule. But effective mothers find time for kids. For example share chores while you are at home. Ask them to place groceries in almirah, ask them to bring veggies from fridge, load the laundry, likewise according to their age you can assaign small tasks. Your chores will be shared, and you will spend some time with them also they learn something. Even the working women can follow this, you can have more family time other than weekends.

6. Sharpen the saw: 

In most of the cases environment and surroundings plays major role in the mental health.  If you are a mother who wears pyjamas all the day, try to change your habit. You may not dress like you are going to party. But you can dress smart, at home too. Feel the difference when you wear pyjamas and a regular dress. Pyjamas makes you more sluggish as the days pass by. Normal dreess make you less lazy.

So first prepare your mind, to be active, ideas come along.  Also make your living space or work space more pleasing. In the section sharpening the saw, you might think why space management or dresses come here. These will be one of the stepping stones for making your time effective with kids. It is like passing positive vibes to children too.

7. Synergize: 

While the kid is around, dont use your mobile or electronic gadget. It will make them feel unimportant and triggers them for their screen time. So find your time for scrolling instagrams or facebook when your kid is out of sight. So synchronise with kids timings and you will find quality time for them. Giving undivided attention to kid is the best gift one can give. 

As 'one-size-is-not-fit-for-all', the parenting tips will not be easy for all the mothers. But nothing wrong in trying it once. Feel the difference.

Happy motherhood!!

BEGINNERS GUIDE FOR HOME SCHOOLING

Schools might reopen in september or october, many parents are in confusion whether to send their preschoolers to school or not. Parents who are comfortable with online classes may not prefer this article, but if are looking for home schooling options, then you are on right site. 

I started home schooling my kindergarten kid this year. When I started, I had lots of questions and practical problems, because I was not confident about my teaching skills at that time. Overcoming the problems one by one I got some hope that I can teach my child. Let me share my experiences with you, it might help some of you with an idea of home schooling.

• Start where you are:

When I searched for home schooling options, and its requirements, I got suggestions to buy a printer, coloured charts, and many other pre requisites. But during the initial lockdown, for me it was practically impossible to buy even coloured charts.  So, I used crayons and color pencils which I already had, and some of the un used cardboards for teaching my kid. I used live vegetables and fruits instead of charts. I used sky and clouds for explaining weather. So dont be scared of starting your home school, you can start with what you have. 

• Take help:

If you don't have any idea of their curriculum, take help from the internet or their school teachers. Mostly for preschoolers, writing skills and identifying are important aspects to throw light on. So I found it easy.

• Go with the pace of your kid:

One of the best thing about home schooling is the teacher can go in student pace. You can personally check and teach them according to their interest and ability to learn. I designed a time table, according to her interest I start schooling.

• Timely evaluation:

Generally in the schools, the evaluation will be done quarterly, monthly, or yearly. But when you are schooling at home you can get clear idea where your child lags or where they can excel.

• It's okay to break!!:

If you are not from teaching background, kindergarten teaching is not as easy as you think. You may have mood swings or your kids might not be interested, be prepared. In that time its okay to take a break. Take a break and start slowly.

• Create routine:

For kids, creating routine may take time, when they are habituated they can follow it more than you. Create a routine for home school and let them understand that you will be the teacher for them. Initially try to make them sit for 15 minutes in hime school, and gradually increase the time. Now my daughter will be in home school for 1.30 hours. Generally I let her choose what she wants to do in the school. 

• Believe in your kid and have faith

Preschool kids take time to adapt to this new method, so have faith in your kids. They might get bored, as they will be only kid on the class. Say them after the pandemic they can join their friends. 

• Design your own syllubus:

Along with their curriculum, add extra curricular activities according to their intrest. Like I have added yoga, and music in her syllubus.

• Go creative:

Preschool kids love singing rhymes than sitting and writing. So create some games so that they can learn while playing.

I created a game of clapping alternate hands and saying numbers. 

The only things you need for home schooling are patience and creativity. Don't forget to appriciate your kid's efforts to cope up in this pandamic situation, give them a STAR. Let your little one stay safe at home and also learn at same time. 

GRANNY'S TALES- SUN (PART-3)

Click here for Part-1

Click here for Part-2

Welcome back to Granny's tales.

This month I am going to tell you how my Granny is associated with Sun. 

My grandmother used to call the Sun as "Pratyaksha Narayanudu" which means "Visible God".

She designed her chores according to Sun's movement. 

Her every action is useful for today's situation. Especially when this Covid-19 is extending its hands all over world. 

In her total life she never woke up after sun rise. Many of your grand mothers and grand fathers used to say "Never sleep after sunrise" remember?? 

The modern science got to know our ancestral rituals are way for healthy life. My granny used to say "When you brush your teeth after sunrise your teeth will be broken."
"How come sun can break my tooth? if I am aged, then naturally I will lose my teeth, why to worry to wake up early? This was my argument.
Till her day of death, she never fell ill. She always said "Sun is energy. Pray to him".

 Her idea was to make me spend more time with morning sun. But I used to spend it on bed. 

When I came to know the positivity and freshness in the morning sun, daily I am remembering my granny.
Everyday she woke up before sunrise, mostly at 5 AM, finishes her bathing, and cleaning of house, and started cooking for all of us. Her positive nature reflected in food too. Not a single day her food was tasteless.
One more thing she always insisted was, cleaning the house before sunrise.

My granny termed cleaning house after sunrise as"Daridram", which she probably meant Negetivity in house.

Whem she was in her late 60's, she was unable to sleep during night, however her wake up time didn't changed. 

Every day she used to study "Aditya hridayam" and made me learn that. She always said "Aditya hridayam brings you health and happiness. Whenever your mind is disturbed read this one, you will be relieved from stress. Believe in God, if you cannot believe what you see infront of your eye, how can you believe power within you? Sun is creating food for you, with his power, pray him"

Her home made sun-dried chips were the best chips.

Even she used sun for getting rid of aroma in jars, melt her solidified ghee. 

She insisted her grandson who was born with jaundice to expose to morning sunlight for few days right after he was born.

Vitamin D is best medicine for children who were born with jaundice. She knows it as simple act,just by spending some time under Sun.

My granny is a middle class house wife from an orthodox family. Her educational background is also not strong. But she knows how to make her family healthy through natural resources. 

What did your Granny say about Sun?

For more intresting posts, sign me up!!!

INDOOR ACTIVITIES FOR 2-5 YEARS AGE GROUP KIDS

I would like to gather all indoor activities that can be useful for kids in 2-5 years of age.Some are my own ideas, some are taken from internet, and some are my daughters school activities. I thought it is useful for mothers during this lockdown. 

1. Coloring: The easiest way to attract the toddlers
2. Memory game: Place 3-4 items/toys in a tray. Make your toddler remember what they are, place a cloth on the items and carefully remove one of the item, without their knowledge. Let them guess which item was removed.
3. Frozen dance: Play some energitic music, let your kid dance to that music, you also dance if required,and freeze your movements, when the music stops suddenly. 
4. Mis match: Take 4 pairs of items,/toys, place it in two rows with mismatch sequence.  Ask this toddler to match them accordingly. 
   
5. Round alphabets: Arite alphabets on small pieces of paper,and arrange them in a circular shape. Let the music start and your kid run around. When the music stops, kid should stop, then the kid need to identify the letter and ask them to say the related word to that alphabet.
6. Find the color: Make sure you placed the colours visible to your kid. Ask them to bring specific colored item to you. Kids will run around to search that.
7. Hopscotch: This activity is simply favorite thing for many kids.  You just need to draw lines for jumping. You can make them more interesting with your creativity.
8. Treasure hunt: For this you don't need garden or open places. Draw the outline of your house/room, hide some of their toys or daily things in the room and ask them to find out. You can even list out the things you were hidden. For reference see the picture below. 
   
9. Puppet show: All you need for a puppet show is plastic/wooden spoons, wool and all fix gum. You can create whatever charecters you want.
   
10. Hide and seek: My favourite game for gaining some time for moms.
11. Word/alphabet search: Write random alphabets and ask kids to find purticular alphabet or word. Yes you can create your own word search for your kids.
    
12. Follow the lines: Make your kids take a round all over your home. Draw arrow lines directing to their favourite toy, with some obstacles like chairs or tables. They surely enjoy the process.
13. Basket and ball: Take any available basket or vessel so that your kid can throw some paper balls or small toys. Score them and encourage.
14. Crafting: You team up with little scientists, they can make you do miracles!!!
    
15. Play imaginary roles: Kids are more influenced by cartoon charecters, play with them. Our favourite game is Dora and explorer, myself Boots in that play, Dora role played by my daughter.
16. Make play doughs: Use wheat flour or all purpose flour to make the doughs, and if food color is available, you use it too.
17. Try music: Try what kind of sound comes from an empty glass and glass full of water. Try to create music from that. Who knows, you may become an expert in Jaltarang, after this lock down!!!
18. Bubble bath: Stay at home is not alone safe, you need to disinfect the home. Take help of your kids and wash their toys in bubble bath. Sure they enjoy the bubbles.
19. Board games: Board games are ever green games. Do you think they cannot understand board rules. Let go of rules for some time and play with them. You get a heatful of laughter!!!
20. My Kitchen rules: When is the last time you truly enjoyed cooking?? Dont worry about the rotis/dosas shape, enjoy cooking with your kid's help. 

These are only suggestions, you can design more games with your creativity!!

10 APARICHIT MOMENTS WITH MOTHERS

Children and Mothers love for each other cannot be measurable. Mother love leads them to talk them in two types. 

They want us to do certain things for limited period of time. After certain age,  their multiple personality will come out and parents doesnot want us to do the same thing. I am not criticizing them,  but their unconditional love for us, force them to do so. These are some situations,  where mother's duality come out.

1. When you are a kid, your mother hated when you eat your meals slowly.. "You need to have your meals quickly. No one would wait you for hours". This is a common point where moms lose their temper. When you are in teens or after 20's, you will have your meals in a hurry(really quick). Then also you cannot satisfy your mother. "Have your breakfast in peace." Is this not Aparichitudu moments??

2. "Dont roam around all the time. You are may bump into someone or trip over" Did you hear this dialouge many times especially during summer holidays. When you grow up and have some stability in your body(Parents often misunderstand this as laziness) "Can you move your ass dear? You are sitting in that couch from past 5 hours..I said UP!!"

3. "Let me help you in brushing/while taking a bath" mothers say this all the time to kids, when kids are eager to explore how to brush/ how to take a bath. After some years same mother would shout "WEEKENDS DOESN'T MEAN IT IS HOLIDAY FOR TAKING BATH OR BRUSH, GO RIGHT NOW!! " This time your are not interested in brushing our bathing. But your mother will be completely opposite to our feelings.

4. "When are going to help your mother while you are a kid,she used to say "No need dear, go and play/study" she will say it affectionatly. After 20 years " Dont know how to prepare even tea, what will you do after your marriage?? Come help me in the kitchen".

5. Mothers will be upset when you are going 1st time to school, but she herself wanted you to go there. Two completely opposite thoughts filled in their mind.

6. When kids are not interested to eat the meals, mother say "I am not going to feed to at any cost..Eat by yourself". While you are leaving to office in hurry she comes to you and says " I can see you are in hurry, let me feed you some breakfast". Complete opposite talks!!!

7. When you are in school, homework is the worst thing happens every evening. Your mothers may bribe you for doing it. "We can go to circus/cinema this weekend if you complete this homework". The same weekend senario changes while you are going to office. " Lets go to a theatre atleast this weekend, not netflix again." 

8. "You are making mess everytime." Every mother complains this. After when you leave for work or study, she will again say "No one to make mess dear, clothes are in wardrobe, everything is organized.I am missing your mess". See, she misses our mess too. 

9. "You can do whatever you can after you get a job/after marriage". You know the next phase also, "You are not listening to me"

10. Iconic one: Mothers will be like "Don't talk to stranger". Also mothers "Marry this stranger". 

What are the aparichit moments with your mother?? List them in comments section.

For more interesting reads, sign me up!!! 

20 IDEAS HELP YOU SURVIVE WHEN YOU ARE AT HOME

Corona out broke!! The minimum precaution is to stay at home and wash your hands. Children and working people are at home. It is different phase of life when everyone are at home in this busy life, that too for a long period. 

Here are some ideas that will help you to overcome this time. 

1. Make the meals simple ones:

Every weekend's meals would be special, but now try not to visit restaurants or crowdy places. Also do not get worried about preparing the meals. Keep it simple. Simple is new different. 

2. Take naps

No hurry for office or schools or colleges. Take more 30 min to get up. Or take an afternoon nap.

3. Play the fictional games

Are you bored of working from home?? Play fictional games like catching zombies or if you have kids you can play "Dora the explorer" or "Peppa pig" fictional plays. Or you can play many board games. These things are not childish,  these ladies makes you really work one another without mobiles or television. 

4. Get rid of cobwebs:

It is your home, so take care of your home a little. Get rid of cobwebs. We also can do that.

5. Declutter:

This period will be right chance to declutter your room, wardrobe or mobile.

6. Try to generate new ideas for your interior decoration

You have plenty of time, you can think many possible ways to think about how interior decoration. 

7. Organize your room/wardrobe/total home

Stop the idea of postponing the organizing of your home. This time will not come again.

8. There are so many movies or shows you wanted to watch..watch now

9. Workout at home/do simple yoga:

There are so many YouTube tutorials on how to do workout/yoga at home. Try one of these. Else you can walk around your house/cellar.

10. Print:

We take lots of pics now a days. Move some printable into one folder. Likewise you can declutter your hard drives and print your memories too. Looking at our loved ones in photo frame is different from seeing them as our mobile wallpaper. 

11. Grow a garden

Take a plastic bottle and make some holes under it. Fill it with soil and some methi/dhaniya(fenugreek/coriander) seeds. Even this is enough for one meal. Eating what you grow, can give you pleasure

12. Try different hair styles 

There is no one who will judge you for doing this.  Neither colleagues no friends will know what you are doing. Take this as a chance to change your hairstyle. 

13. Read

You can read peacefully, with no tension for tomorrow.  

14. Clean your vehicle

Skip car wash/bike wash for this month. Clean your vehicle with your hands. If necessary involve your family too.

15. Write an email to your future self through futureme.org

I once used this for my birthday. After that I forgot, suddenly one day a mail has popped up from me which I was written years ago. So write an email to your future self today itself.

16. Call your friends

When did the last time you called your friends and spoke about your happy memories? Is it on their last birthday??It is time to ditch the whats app messages and speak to them.

17. Meditate

Get time for meditation too. 

18. Plenty of time.so you can take self care.

Why to go to parlor when you can do the saloon services at home. We have time, so it can save money also. Try manicure or pedicure at home.

19. Try not to get attached to digital devices more. It can build you stress at home. Everyone looking at mobiles even when they are near, cannot help you in this holidays. If some one is watching TV go straight in front of TV and block that, so that they might talk to you in person.

20. Spend more time with kids. You can teach them songs, decluttering, life lessons, creative ways to talk,and you learn more from them, what not!!  So use this time efficiently!! 

Stay away from corona, stay close to loved ones.

Here are some more ideas to do with kids!! 

Here is my another blog for ideas without internet!!

Stay safe...

Take care...

For more interesting reads, sign me up!!!

x

GRANNY'S TALES- WATER (PART-2)

 [For Granny's tales part-1 here ]

Grandmothers loses their coolness when it comes to WATER.
In traditional Indian families water is treated almost equal to God. From the moment they wake up they were closely associated with the five elements of nature, mostly with water. Granny considered water as most wonderful, powerful, sterilizing element of one life.
1. Bath: 
She used to say that always have a bath before sunrise. My granny hated when I roam here and there with out having bath in the morning. She used to nag behind me saying that "Go and bathe".  Whenever she heard a bad news or when she is having a bad day she goes straight to the bathroom and does her bathing. She used to say bathing makes her body and mood, clean.
2. Drinking water:
She used to treat water as her elixir of life. She used to wash her copper water utensil, with little extra care every time. She never drank water hurriedly. She used to say "After drinking water, you should sit relaxed for few minutes, then only the water will sink in. More than half of your body is water, respect it"
3.Cooking:
She always used water only she brought. None of the family or maids brought water, is not preferred for her cooking. She used to clean the water vessel after bathing, with her own hands and after that she used to bring water in that, and we are not allowed to touch it at any cost. she called it "Madi neellu",which means "water that should not be touched". The complete process seemed to be illogical and meaningless during my childhood. After I got to know their water has memory, and it reacts to our touch and voice, I got to know 'the' water will effect your health. 

My granny never used the water from taps. She always stored the water in a vessel and after a night she used it for cooking or drinking.

4. News:

Whether it is a birth news or a death news she immediately took a bath.  She used to say some philosophy, both birth and death are part of life, try to treat like same.

5. Others:

My granny always used to say"wash your legs from behind..don't ignore after visiting rest room". May be it was concern about every corner of the body. 

Granny used to use a word after drinking water "this is amrutham", which means elixir. 

In most of the traditional houses, before meals they will do kriya called "parisham" with water as an indication of holy food "prasadam" for the fire(God) inside us. 

Also after completing the food, they again use water for completing the kriya. So she never ignored the water. 

All this will be done by men in the house. This topic is really a vast subject, here I'm not going to discuss. I shall make it as other topic.  

So,  finally my granny's relation with water is a strong one. She even predicted the financial status by usage of water!!!  

Awesome women!! 

For more interesting reads sign me up!! 

It is going on!!

She opened the curtains of her room. Thank God Anupama aunty was not there. Else she would observe everything and every sound wave through the window. She misses her parents and brother. She misses her native place. It is a small town. Now she is living in a metro city.
When she met her relatives who was living in a metro city they used to say "It is going on" when they were asked, "How is the city?".
She was surprised by that answer. 

Everything has changed in her life by coming to this city. No Anupama aunty spying on her activities. No power cuts no internet problem. Customer care people of water purifier, air conditioner, washing machine are reacting quickly.
No worries about hospitals or groceries. They are at the doorstep. She remembered how her grandmother felt while she had a massive heart stroke. No doctor/Nurse was available at that time. 

No greenery is seen around her house. Her flat faces the busiest road so that she never felt alone. Busy traffic reminded her home. Her brother used to play loud music even she is sleeping. No calm environment at home. That music even created a new topic for Anupama aunty. "You should concentrate more on studies than music. Unlike you, Vamsi(Anupama's son) always uses the computer for studying".

"Unlike my mom, you should know your son's browsing history", snapped her brother.

They had a heartful laugh after she left.

When she got a job in metro City, all her neighbours were very anxious about how she can survive in the new City, rather she should say they were jealous.

Jealousy in the name of love.

Interrogation in the name of caring.
Backbiting is the name of admiring.

A few months later:
She is all fine in the new city. But she misses her family especially Anupama aunty when she is sick. She misses Anupama aunty's peeking from time to time. Here she is all by herself. Nobody is ready to look into her life. Nobody is concerned about her being. In this city, she can see arrogant, negative minded people, selfish people. At least in her village, they were concerned about their image when they say NO. Here the people are self-centred and work for their own being.
The cost of living is far more than she expected. If the salary is a 6-Digit number, then she can save only a 4-Digit number that too with a great effort.
Anupama aunty's husband works in a small firm with hardly a 4-digit salary, but they were already owners of a duplex house in that town.
And the traffic is terribly bad, she can't even travel 2kms in 1hour. She missed her town really bad.

After a few more months:
A distant relative met her in a wedding and asked, "Hey how is the new city, new life?"
She smiled and said, "It is going on!!!"

Finally, she understood every place has its pros and cons and she needs to go on with that!!

I CAN..!!!

"Can you solve this problem?”, asked Mathematics teacher.

“ Yes!! I can”, replied an average student.

The student became mathematics topper in that school.

“With this type of revision you cant crack exam”, said a relative sarcastically.

“ Yes. I will crack”, she muttered under her breath.

She got admission in business administration in a top college.

“Will you ever get a job?”, Her cousin asked.

“ Yes I will”, looking directly into their eyes.

She got a job!!

“How can you survive after these many rejections?”, asked the image in the mirror.

“I can survive”, she assured the image.

Her comeback inspired most of her friends.

The only thing that made everything possible in the above situations is self-confidence. It can overcome all difficulties, Heartbreaks, failures, fears. The most essential thing in a person’s life.

HOME?

"When are you going to your home?" Kumar asked Sandhya. 

"Next Wednesday" Sandhya answered. 

When Kumar left for the office, Sandhya went to deep thoughts. Why Kumar has mentioned 'your' home? When you are married it is more like 'our' home. Sandhya's parents and in-laws live in town. Sandhya is a homemaker, during her kids’ summer holidays she visits her home town. 

From the past 8 years, her in-laws and her husband will call it is her house. Her parents and relatives call her in-laws house as ‘Her’ house. Sometimes she does not understand, if she has 2 homes, but feeling homeless.

Her in-laws say

“ It is not the way we deal in our house”

“Please don’t bring your home rules to this house”

“Don’t forget to take this while going to your home?”

Sandhya is confused. When you marry a person, and you are ready to accept their family as yours, building new relationships between the families, she is ready to call her in-laws home as “our” home, why can’t Kumar calls her parents home as our home. Why he always say it is “your” home?

It doesn’t mean that Kumar is a bad person. Kumar is an open-minded, caring and loving husband. And her in-laws are also warm and friendly. However, they refer to her parents’ house as hers. Every time they say this, a question arises. Is that house is not Kumar’s? If she can own this house mentally and verbally, why not Kumar can own that house?

She is okay when they say your parents’ home. But when they say it is your home, she has a problem.

Whenever she is sick, she cannot ask her Mom-in-law to make her an extra cup of tea. She cannot ask her Father-in-law to bring sanitary pads. She can’t ask her husband to help her with extra chores at home, because of guests, because she doesn’t want to give an extra burden over his office work. There are times she got a thought that does she belong here? Even when she and in-laws are moving freely. If it was her parents’ home, she can get up lazily at 10’O clock. Especially, for this reason, she missed her home.

This is only one side of a coin. The other side is her parents.

But ironically, whenever she comes to her parents home, her parents, aunts, siblings say

“How is everyone at your home?”

“How do you do things at your home”

She spent 25 years at that home, still, she is considered as outsider after marriage. What if she was born as a boy? Then would she consider that home as hers?

She was born in that house. She loved the people in that house, and they loved her. The people in that house have been with her in kith and kin till her marriage. Now her mother is making special dishes, her father is bringing special ice cream, her brother is crying when Sandhya leaves. She is happy when they express their love, but the indirect meaning, a you-will-not-be-with-us-for-too-long message is disturbing her. Even though she is compromised that she can’t be there for a long time, will that imply she is just a guest every year?

She can’t own her parent’s home as hers now. However, she cannot own her in-laws home also, as there are some invisible boundaries drawn for their relation. It is not like she is not comfortable or doesn’t get love at both the homes, still, she feels like she is homeless sometimes.

As Indian women, her heart will be 50% at her parents and 50% at her husband and in-laws. Is this where the flickering of emotions start in a women’s life, just like Sandhya?

5 WAYS TO MAKE YOUR KIDS FINANCIALLY RESPONSIBLE

“The best thing you can give to your child is, financial knowledge” – Robert Kiyosaki

Teaching our kids about saving money is the greatest gift that we can give as parents. However, the lessons should be more than that; because the financial knowledge opens up the gates to their freedom and independence.  Here are a few methods to raise financially responsible children.

1. Teach the value of money:

Depending on their age start teaching the value of money, how it will be useful for their living. In the journey of raising them, do not miss an opportunity to teach the value of money. For example today almost every teenager is using a credit card. But they don’t know how the interest multiplied. When they come to college, the credit amount becomes lump sum. When you give a credit card, teach them how the payable amount multiplies. So that they can know how money works.  

2. Give financial knowledge:

Giving financial knowledge is not transferring adult stress to them. It is giving an outline of your budgets like your expenses, savings, and interest rate. It helps to learn about money and in the long run, they find interest in financial operations. Robert Kiyosaki, the author of the bestselling book, “The Rich Dad and Poor Dad”, is more specific of giving children the knowledge of finance. He says that he learned money importance from his Rich Dad, which bought him success today. He learnt how money works for rich, and how other people work for money.

3. Involve them in budgeting:

Having an open talk with your kid about how you save, how you pay bills on credit cards. Rich dad of Robert Kiyosaki explained the cash flow of liabilities and assets. He explained with the help of blocks diagrams and arrow marks instead of massive charts and accounts. At the age of 10, Robert understood the cash flow. Children understanding ability is more when you speak in their language.

4. Let them experience:

Provide some real money to manage your expenses. For example, take them to grocery shopping and ask them to handle the holiday shopping, let them spend the money. Provide them with your support but let them make choices. Patrick Payne, a professor at Carolina University says that the kids must understand there will be compromises involved. Kids must understand how much we (adults) give up forgetting something else. And there is a cost for everything.

5. Encourage:

As a parent, you need to give encouragement and support while nurturing the child. Even though when they fail in some of their financial actions, encourage and guide them the right way. Teach them to the power of tracking their money. Encourage to pay their bills at the learning age. Educate them to “earn while you learn”. This method not only encourages them to manage their earnings but also handle new challenges.

            The best presentation for a child on their birthday is “Piggybank”. Teach them the importance of savings; encourage them to get interested in financial matters. No matter what you teach the kids, they remember what you DO! So respect the money first by yourself and show that to your kids. Robert Kiyosaki says “Right from the small age my rich dad encouraged me to involve in money doing. That made me realise why money is important.”

Do you think it is important to induce financial responsibility? How will you raise kids financially strong?
For more interesting reads sign me up!!