DECISION

Her decision shook their family. Her in-laws, husband even her parents were shocked to hear this from her.

Sandhya's gaze fixed at her right-hand thumb and index finger and rest of all other eyes fixed at her.

"Speak out Sandhya!! Why do you want an abortion?" Said one of the voice.

"This is inhuman. What's wrong with you?", cried, husband.

Because sandhya wanted an abortion of her 3months pregnancy and she is the mother of a 3-year-old baby.

"Your son needs a brother or sister.", Mother in law said pleasingly.

"Look dear, you have a beautiful family, let the family photo be completed", mother said sitting beside her.

"I want an abortion. I can't bear this child", Sandhya spoke for the second time.

"Don't be so stubborn!! Tell me the reason", husband voice becoming louder.

"Once I saw this pregnancy, delivery, taking care of baby, ufff!!! I'm exhausted! I can't bear this again." said Sandhya, trying to be calm.

" Are you a mother? How can you talk like that?", Her mother in law disgustingly.

"Yes! I'm not a mother. I'm a devil. Do you think I hate my children or living being breathing in my body? No", her voice became more clear, and louder, "I faced depression in these years, no one ever helped me, even you!!" Pointing at her husband.
"Initially I was happy becoming a mother. But gradually I lost myself", her eyes were talking more louder than her lips.

"I faced postpartum depression. You say it's normal for every new mother, you think moms will be habituated?? It's hell to them. No proper sleep, food, even we for no time for the restroom."

"Severe blood loss, rapid weight gain made me physically weak. Just because I love my baby I sacrificed all these. But I am not habituated.", she paused for a moment.

"Taking care of a toddler is not an easy process. No one can help me. No one can do what I do. During this time I lost myself. I didn't wear a minimum sensible dress in these years, because of the fear of getting spoiled by pee or poop or milk or baby food. You guys saw baby's cuddles and kisses, but I also saw baby's traumas, irritations.

I comb my hair every 2 days. Baby's sleep timings didn't match with mine so I got dark circles around my eyes. I couldn't reduce my weight. I used to have 3-4 breaks during lunch/dinner. Sometimes I didn't want to eat after cleaning a diaper. I didn't go outside for many months, not even a movie or dinner. Whenever I go, my handbag is replaced with a diaper bag, baby food, milk bottles."

"I am not happy with killing a life. But I did vote for me this time. Yes, I'm selfish!! Couldn't fulfil all your dreams. I want some peace now.

"Handling the tantrums thrown by a toddler is like walking on eggshells. I lost my me-time. I don't have any recreation other than spending time with the child. The only time I have is 10 minutes in the restroom."

It doesn't mean I don't love my child. I handled it patiently once. I don't want it again. My body cannot resist all this stress again. I love my kid, but I can't love motherhood again"

Leaving others speechless, Sandhya left the room.
She made a decision!!

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New Mom Challenges

Well, I want to write what new mom feels. How new mothers feel? 

Excited? 

Happy?

Exhausted?

Let me list out what a new mother encounters:

1. First thing, stay at home mom job is not 8 hours or 10 hours shift. Is 24/7 job which is recognition less, salary less.

2. Stay at home mom’s feel like having a remote control to get the cell phone or a glass of water or any other thing that far away when the baby is on lap( for feeding or sleeping). Once baby is on the lap, there's no way getting the things (if she is alone)

3. They have to wake up early than you think. ( I wake up at 3.30am)

4. Even though there is maid, there are so many things that should be done by self. Believe me, being a mother is not so easy!!

5. Stay at home, moms don't need yoga. Push-ups, squats, or uttanasana Standing Forward Bend

6. No matter how many times mom put back the toys in the basket, within a minute they will be dumped on the floor.

7. Moms will know that baby's favourite toys will be kitchen utensils. If moms are in kitchen babies will follow.

8. Moms will come to know that there are so many dangerous things in the house until baby plays with them. Even a spoon looks dangerous.

10. Every plug point which is available at baby's height will be closed. 

11. Every restroom must be locked before and after use. ( Do not forget)

12. There will be a new little audience for mom’s every bathroom visit.

13. Mom's have to stay alert every second. A baby crying is not an alarming sign, but silence is!!

14. If baby is being potty trained, mom's sensory organs must be more sensitive.

15. Moms should be high alert when the baby goes near to electric devices like inverter, plug point, iron box.

16. Doing laundry in the washing machine? Get ready. Kids will change the knobs.
17. The main door opened? A search warrant issued for baby.

       18. The entire time baby will be coming behind mom, but when Mom starts feeding food, the baby will start running, jumping, whatnot everything except eating. Mom has to clean all the mess after feeding.

19. While Mom is eating, babies will definitely pee or poop or worse crying. Mom should always have a break while eating.

·     20.Moms should expertise in how not to make a sound while the baby is sleeping. Silent sneezing, silent cooking, silent talking.

·     21. Moms should sacrifice chatting and phone calls.

·     22. While sleeping, baby sleeping positions will be abnormal. Moms will end up in an awkward sleeping posture.

      23. The main sacrifice a Mom does is SLEEP. Mom doesn't want to sleep like a kid, but she wanted to sleep like her husband.

·     24. Mom should know at least 100 rhymes to entertain baby. ( Try to remember all your nursery rhymes, else take help of the internet)

·       25. Some mothers cannot give breast milk. This can be due to different reasons. When a mom cannot give her baby her milk, it is like hell to mom.

·       26. Kitchen work must be completed before the kid wakes up.

·       27. New mothers face postpartum depression. Being a new mom is lonely.

  28. Mother's body will not be in shape after delivery.  Couldn't tell you how it feels. Saggy stomach and breasts, shapeless body, dark circles around eyes, some may have hormonal changes which can cause pigmentation on the skin and many other health problems.

This list goes endless. Being a new mom is hard. But no one can see the sparkle in her dark circled eyes. 

     Coming to the point, what a new mother feel? 

     To know that, well you have to be one!!!!!
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Only Child for parents? These are for you

As I am the only child to my parents; I know how it would be. Let me brief you some points about being the only child.

1.     Questions from outsiders:

I don’t know why they ask such stupid questions. As if all the single children are breaded in a zoo.

“Aren't you bored all day?” 

Of course not!! Why should we? We are in our house/room with parents, not in jail. I wonder whether the homes with multiple kids were ever bored.

“Ask your parents to give you a sibling”

This is the most stupid statement given by our neighbouring aunties gave us. For your information, siblings are not chocolates!!
That decision belongs to my parents.

“You must be enjoying your father's hereditary”

By the way, who’s hereditary that you were enjoying?

2.     No competitions all our parents love:

Yes!! I can proudly say that my parents love is not shared. You think I am selfish? Let it be.

Remember last time when you became jealous when your parents asked you to share your chocolates with your sibling.

3.     Broad mind towards cousins and friends:

We open our arms wide for all our cousins and friends. We don’t limit our brotherly/sisterly love to one or two persons. See how broadminded we are!!

4.     Becomes extrovert or introvert/more straight forward:

Being a single child, we talk extremely less or more, but not in between. And we talk straight. Less drama everywhere!!!!

5.     Cultivates proper hobby:

Don’t know whether a kid with siblings depends on a hobby or not. We depend on hobby completely and deeply.

6.     Slight remorse on Rakshabandhan:

On the day of Rakshabandhan, our social media would be filled with brother-sister pictures, and quotes about their love. Sometimes it makes us sad.

7.     We are creative!!!

We spend more time alone, our imagination will be strong. Fictional play, imaginative friends, alternate universe, we had done it!!

8.     Everything is new:

Did you experience using your brother’s or sister’s clothes, books, cycle? Hahaha... We will get brand new ones every time.

9.     No issues of privacy:

We don’t share our room with our siblings, so no issues of privacy. My life!! My rules!!

10. Parents become best friends:

As we are the only child, our parent's focus will be on us. We talk about anything and everything with them. They become our first advisors and best friends.

There may be many benefits to having siblings. But being an only child makes us more independent, self-sufficient and ever-loving child.

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Importance of Vitamin D for new mothers

For a new mother, vitamin D deficiency will be more impactful on her health. Vitamin D makes us absorb the calcium from our intake which is again important not only for breastfeeding mothers but also for mothers of toddlers. The needs of a child will reduce the levels of vitamin D in mothers. Why it is more important?

Why do mothers need Vitamin D

1. Reduces the risk of pain and fatigue in muscles:

Lack of this vitamin will lead to muscle weakness. It can cause tennis elbow or golfer’s elbow for new mothers. It can cause pain in joints and Ligament tears also.  Vitamin D helps with muscle strength.

2. Vitamin D deficiency can lead to depression:

One of the causes of postpartum depression is lack of Vitamin D. Keeping the mental factors aside; vitamin D deficiency causes depression and anxiety, especially for new mothers.

3. Helps in absorption of calcium:

Vitamin D helps to absorb calcium content to our body. Breastfeeding mothers need more calcium. At times, new moms are advised to take calcium supplements. For the absorption of calcium, vitamin D plays a crucial role.

4. It helps in reduction of insomnia:

Are you exhausting soon? Getting a good amount of vitamin D can get you enough sleep and retain your energy.

5. Keeps blood pressure in control:

Why bring your blood pressure out of comfort zone. Let it be there. Vitamin D acts as a gatekeeper for your BP and keeps it within the limits.

Where do you get Vitamin D?

• Sunlight: The best source and it is free!! At the time of sunrise and sunset, it is good to go under the sun.
• Foods: The vitamin D rich foods are tuna fish, salmon, beef liver, cheese, egg yolks, milk, orange juice, soy milk
• Vitamin D supplements: If you are high deficiency doctors would suggest vitamin D supplements in the form of liquid, tablet or injection.

Regular checkups of vitamin D deficiency will help to identify the problem earlier. Don’t neglect symptoms. Get an abundant amount of sunlight to enjoy a healthier life with your child.

Happy Motherhood!!

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10 Things to do while pregnant

Pregnancy is boon a woman. The period from confirmation of pregnancy to delivery is crucial. A woman has to take care of her and another living being too.

The rush of progesterone and oestrogen hormones make them more sensitive physically and mentally. This is the reason they need to be taken more care during pregnancy. They start worrying about everything.

To occupy the mind during that period, the hobby is a must. But the hobby should not be exhaustive physically. Here are the few things I did during pregnancy.

1. Music:

I learnt classical music from my 2^nd trimester. It helped me to regularize my routine (as I was so lazy) initially, but it refreshed my mind too. The better part was I began to feel baby kicks when I sing a particular song. So, try learning music or an instrument or simply listen to music.

      2. Read:

Read... Read... Read a lot!! It may be useful to you or baby or anything!! Pregnancy time is where we think too much about everything. Books divert unnecessary thoughts.

3. Solve puzzles:

When you get bored, solve small riddles in books, better exercise for the mind without moving body. Moreover, these keep you away from electronic gadgets.

4. Write:

Keep a journal for you and your baby. Or create a blog write down what you feel. Everything and anything!!

5. Time to make a playlist for the baby:

Learn the name of characters of star wars and Disney princesses. Make a playlist to your child.

6. Art:

Go creative!!! Learn some origami or pottery or it may be decorative items. Send your loved ones the greetings you made. Or make finger puppets. Believe me, your kid loves your artworks!! Here is the link

7. Create a scrapbook:

Take lots of photos and print them. Write memories beside the photos.  Get creative.

8. Cooking:

Every pregnant woman experiences bloody morning sickness, nausea, and bloating and uneasiness in the belly. Try different recipes which satisfy your tongue.

10. Painting:

Painting is voice of your soul. You need not be a professional painter. Try beginners’ lessons on YouTube.

10. Watch comedy series/ films:

I understand your sleeplessness during the night. It is important to get some rest. If you cannot sleep, watch any comedy series or films. You can find a friend at 2am. Personally, I prefer Sri Jandhyala film of the Telugu film industry.

Pregnancy is your time!! It’s precious. Spend quality time with yourself.

Stay healthy!

Enjoy pregnancy!!

Deliver a healthy baby!!!

Above all...Be proud!!!

Happy Motherhood!!

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WAYS TO REDUCE POSTPARTUM DEPRESSION

Childbirth is a physically exhausting procedure. Did you observe it affects the women emotionally too?? New responsibilities, struggles with breastfeeding, sleepless nights, the rush of hormones, irregular food timings, doubt of being a good mother or not, what not!! Every single detail of raising a kid makes mom’s life stressful.

These are 10 ways to reduce Post Partum depression:

1. Me-time:

You don’t get your time after delivery. Changing diapers, feeding baby, facing the tantrums all these make new mom’s day hectic. Don’t hesitate to take your time. Do some activities, start your hobbies again. Even it is for 5 or 10 minutes. It gives immense pleasure for you.

2. Do meditation/walk

To stabilize your mind from wavering thoughts, it’s better to sit in silence for few minutes in a day. No cranky child, no feeding, nothing. Enjoy calmness!!

If not, go for a walk with the baby. It helps.

3. Get some sleep:

It is impossible for a new mother to get full-fledged sleep. Still, try to rest your strained body. All of them say “Sleep while your baby sleeps”. It is practically impossible to sleep while the baby is sleeping. The other chores that have to be done will be waiting when the baby sleeps. But take a nap in the afternoon or mid-morning.

 If you were working women, work is double. Still, get some quick naps to avoid fatigue.

4. Get a balanced diet:

Take lots of iron and calcium-rich foods after delivery. Try to avoid junk food. The most important vitamin is ‘D’. Deficiency of Vit-D leads to depression and fatigue. Get in sunlight, drink milk, and other D-vitamin rich foods like red meat, fish. Get a balanced diet.

5. Talk to a friend:

Handling Postpartum depression is not an easy task. Do not lose touch with your friends. They help you a lot in this time. Talk to them, how you are feeling.

We, women, want to talk about our troubles. We may or may not get the solution for problems. But talking out, helps us lot more to drop that burden.

6. Get support from the family/partner:

Friends come after family or a life partner. Talk to them first. Ask for help. Share some work to them. Do not hesitate. They can understand your pain and restlessness. Trust me.

If you do not ask you cannot get help.

7. Hire a maid/nanny:

If you can afford to hire a maid or nanny to take care of the baby, while you do other things and get some rest. They may not help completely but you can have time to breathe.

8. Don’t be guilty:

Sometimes moms may shout at kid or partner. If the baby cries, new moms feel guilty. They think they are not taking good care of the baby. Do not feel guilty. One of the reasons for depression is being guilty. It is the feeling of every new mother. Accept it. Move on.

9. It is ok to cry:

Crying is not childish. It is the outlet of all the depression. Got to a room, cry your heart out. Don’t be shy. It relieves your stress.

10. Drink water:

Last but not least. Drink more water!!  More and more water!!! Stay hydrated. As you all know drinking sufficient water refreshes your mind and also many more advantages.

Motherhood is precious. Depression may be caused by any number of reasons. But there is one reason to celebrate. Your child!!!

Stay healthy!

Take care of the baby!!

Celebrate Motherhood!!!

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