Toddler tantrums make the parents' life more
difficult. The reasons for tantrums may be different, but there is no standard
way to stop them. Kids don’t know words to express their feelings, emotions. It
is the beginning stage of their social and emotional skills.
There are many things that trigger their tantrums
like worry, fear, anger, new environment, tiredness, hunger, helpless
situations. However, they can be controlled by different methods. Here are the
few ideas to handle toddler tantrums.
1. Identify the
triggers:
The triggers can be generally hunger, thirst,
frustration, bored, and the situations they cannot cope up with like toy taken
away by others. If you identify the triggers, usually you can stop their
tantrums at an early stage. If you know the kid is crying because it is his
food time. You can feed him so that he doesn’t get irritated of hunger.
2. Distraction is the
key:
Toddlers get distracted easily. So when you get a
‘hint’ just distract them with whatever they like. I always keep a sachet of
colour candies handy for my daughter. She loves to play with it. When I get a
hint of throwing tantrums, I give her the candies. Being at home all the time
will also make kids bored. When you think they are getting bored, take them for
a walk or visit to neighbours/friend’s home. Outdoors is the best medicine for
toddlers. These are some of my distraction techniques. You can create your
own.
3. Take out the second
toy box:
I recommend maintaining a second toy box when you
have kids. This box is nothing but toys hidden without their knowledge. I
suggest not giving all the toys at a time for the kids. They get bored easily.
Hide some of them. So that the ‘new’ feeling will gain you some time.
This second toy box technique can be used on used
toys also. When they get bored of used toys hide them for some period, when you
take them out again, they get ‘new’ feeling.
4. No negative words:
This is very important with the kids when are not
in a happy mood. Be calm. There will be no use if you shout at them. Take care
of your tone. Kids can easily identify the change in tone and your body
language and latch accordingly. Use positive words always. Instead of saying, ”Don’t leave
the door open” you can say “ Please close the door”. Remember
the negative words show the only negative impact on their mind.
5. Be firm:
Keep your voice calm and firm. Kids can recognise
your “break-point”, until them they will continue their tantrums. Let them know
you have no break point. And no crying is encouraged. It doesn’t mean you shout
or lose your temper. Don’t be in a hurry to fulfil their wish just because they
are crying loudly. Just wait a few more minutes, believe me, kids will listen
to you! Try all this at your home; for sure they will listen to you at
outdoors.
6. Reward system:
This is the best option to avoid tantrums in
children. Give them a reward when they did a nice thing. This system can
encourage them to do good things. It can be given special badges or giving
stars (These can be normal plastic stars to attach them on the wall or their
wardrobe) or special snacks.
“Oh you behaved well in the supermarket, let me
buy you a cookie”
“You kept all your toys in the toy
basket, you get a double star”
These kinds of rewards and positive words encourage
them to listen to you. I experimented it. My daughter loves the stars attached
to her wards robe and I daily remind those stars are for her good behaviour.
7. Give them options:
When you couldn’t distract or avoid triggers give
them options. One \is attractive and your choice and the other one are their
choices. Say them “Will you stop the television now or 10 minutes
later” instead of “switch off the television”.
Giving options will reduce your tension for sure
and reduce the negative impact on the kid. If your kid is crying out for
lollipop at the mall, instead of shouting “No lolly!!” you can say
“You can choose a fruit juice “calmly.
8. Encourage the right communication:
Almost all the mothers know how it will feel when
the kid is crying out their lungs in front of friends, relatives or at malls.
At times moms cannot find out the reason. Encouraging the right communication
will help in these type of situations. Not only at the time of their bad mood,
while they are in a normal mood encourage communication. This communication may
not be of words, can also be with signs or body language.
9. Catch good qualities
in your child:
Appreciate them whenever they did good things. If
they kept all their toys in the toy basket after playing don’t turn a blind
eye. Give an encouraging pat or say them “You will get a star for this”
10. Say yes whenever
reasonable:
They are kids. We as parents should not clip their
wings. Let them have a free childhood. Say yes for reasonable things. Don’t
expect them to be perfect. Kids are not robots to do as programmed. There are
many things you can say yes. Over-controlling can have an impact on them
psychologically too.
Let them run. Let them fall. Let them rise. Give
them a boost to rise even they fall.
Happy motherhood!!
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