STRUCK!!!

A skype call of three college friends after a decade of their graduation.

"Hi all", said Laxmi,"How are you doing". Laxmi is a working woman with a kid.

"All good" said Sandhya. She is a homemaker with 2 kids.

"After long time", asked lalitha, with slightly American accent. She resides in USA.

"It's been two months we spoke to each other, you and Laxmi might be in touch", said Lalitha about Sandhya.

"We may seem to be in same time zone, but her timings are different from me", said Laxmi merrily.

"Don't blame me, you will be busy until Lalli calls us", said Sandhya in a self defence mode. 

"Okok..no fightings!! What else Sandhya, I saw your drawings in your whatsapp status. Any new ones?"

Sandhya showed her new drafting to her friends. 

"And Lalli, when are you planning to come to India?",both of them asked.

"Not this year, my husband is planning a trip to Europe." Said Lalitha.

"A good news from my side too. We bought a new car a week back", Laxmi showed her new car to her friends. 

Later they spoke about cars,europe trips,kids achievements for another half an hour and hung up.

Laxmi:

Sandhya is lucky, she has time for kids and also she has time to pursue her hobbies. I am struck up with this job, except on the salary day I don't find any good about this. I am struck in this cage forever.

Laxmi lost in her thoughts about last week how she couldn't attend a family function, while her cousins enjoyed that function. Rest of the day she is thinking of Sandhya.

Lalitha:

Laxmi is lucky, her parents stay with her. I need to wait for another one and half year to process visa for my parents, next year Arvind's (husband)parents will be visting us. Now I couldn't go back to India, as my son's education cannot be changed. I am struck in this cage forever!!

She is thinking about her friends how they are fortunate to be in India, with parents and domestic helps.

Sandhya:

I shouldn't have left my career. Since morning to midnight, I take responsibility of everything in this house, but everyone thinks I am sitting ideally at home. Just to get some time for myself, forcibly I am taking off from these household chores. No recognition no salary, I am struck in this cage!!

She is thinking about how they are financially independent her friends are.

Still their lives went on...

THINGS INTROVERTS DO!!

"Send me your phone number to add it in our community whatsapp group." My neighbour called out after our society meeting. I smiled and gave thumbsup. After reaching home, I sent my husbands number to her to add in society whatsapp group. I hi-fied mentally to myself for avoiding all the discussions. Then I wanted to write what other things we introverts do!!

• Avoid college and office functions by making an excuse that I'm terribly ill.
• Any special occasions and festivals. Deactivate facebook to avoid unnecessary tagging.

• Sharing is confined to “only me” on face book.
• Uncheck read recipts on whatsapp.

• Anybody calls, wait till call ends by itself and make an excuse that phone was in charging or silent.

• Prefer early mornings or mid nights, which will be peaceful time while everyone is sleeping.

• Whenever relatives visits, going into kitchen and do anything or else bury my head in a book or cellphone.
• In Group chats maintain a good name as sleeping member.
• We like savasana in yoga more than any pose.
• Any compulsary birthday wishes? Wish them personally on text rather than in Group.
• Talk to self in every situation.
• Maintaining journals.. Digital or dairies
  
• Inner me is more sarcastic than outer me.
• Need to take decision? Talk to self or write the possible outcomeson paper, make statistics, do calculations or even trigonometry on paper and make a decision.

• Introverts prefer writing or reading than talking or posting in social media.
• Weekend plans? Eat. Read. Sleep. Repeat.
• Change of plans? Stare at wall or ceiling for hours.


Introverts have an opinion on everything, but they don't believe in expressing. It's not about fear or unknown thing. But for the love for themselves.
Happy introverting!!

WHAT KIDS WANT FROM PARENTS?

When the lockdown continued and schools were shut down, I got time (may be more) to spend with my child and observe her needs.

1. Time:

Who doesn't want time? The more time you give them, the more confident they grow. Spend time with them. When the lockdown extended, I thought some screen time will let my daughter happy. I was wrong!! She likes spending more time with me. Whenever I let her watch some cartoons on laptop, while I was doing some chores,  she always asks me when will I finish my work. Even the reason behind her crankiness is, not spending enough time with her in a day. 

2. Touch:

Our antropology says, we have an animal nature in expression of love, that is by touch. The important communication between parents and child in the early ages. Appropriate touch like hug, pat on the back, can speak more than words. 

3. Trust:

I don't believe parents should be with kids in every situation. However, when they truly need parents, parents should be there to count on. When your kid come and say "my friend broke my toy", how many of you questioned " what did you do first?". Yes it is the first question we ask them, which gives them a message 'I am not trusting you'. When they jump off the sofa and get hurt, we say "I said, you will break your leg, don't jump here after" intead of " Careful". Is it how we show our trust? Show the trust you have, as a parent you know where to draw the line between adventure and danger!

4. Security:

Many incidents happening around us, which made parents trust no one(sometimes father/mother also). Physical, psychological and sexual security are needed. When ever a kid gets hurt psychologically or physically their first go-to must be his/her parents. If a child thinks, 'my problem makes no sense to my parents', is it not a parenting failure?

5. Positive environment:

Imagine the situation of parents always fighting with each other or bad mouthing about others, those are never positive signs for kids. Kids always learn from how parents behave/talk, not what parents taught them. Using bad words, or bad behaviour around them should not be allowed. Because we are producing next generation, we need to filter some of our core opinions or behaviours which may cause damage to them. But the saddest part is even the parents don't know their behaviour will cause adverse effects. I will discuss this point in some other time. As of know, we need to give the kids happy childhood, without any childhood traumas. I know a girl whose parents used to fight infront of her daily in her childhood. The fight between them may be small one and they may compromise after that, however the child couldn't forget the incident. As she grew she always had trust issues with every person she met.

6. Story:

I think story telling will be most effective communication with children. Usually I summarise my child's behavior in a day and I give ideas, or suggestions or sometimes the results through stories. Seehere for how story time worked for me kid. 

I accept parenting is not one-size-fit-for-all. There will be mistakes, there will be warm moments, there will be adventures, there will be don't know what to do times. But as a parent we wanted to give best to children. Try to include the above list along with what you give.