Famous writer Steven Covey written 7 habits of highly effective people. I thought to focus these habits on mothers.
We mothers experience different emotions, at times nameless emotions too, while we have kids.
Mom guilt, chores anxiety, lacking me time, dont know when to start or where to start. So lets see how these habits can change our life styles, and making us more lovely, caring mothers.
1. Put end in mind:
Think of small issues we face everyday with them, and what it going to do in near future. For example, struggling for waking them up in the morning. You allowed them extra 30 min of play time last night or 'you' didnt finish your chores early last night, it effects the kids sleeping time, which results in their late wake up. Like this, everything related to kids are again connected with mothers. If we talk rude, they will talk rude. They catch up our words, behaviour quickly. But we are unaware of it, as it our unconcious doings. So while doing anything, remember that kids are watching, it will have an affect in their future.
2. First understand and then be:
The best gift you can give your kids is "time". Spend some time to understand, how they are growing,what is effecting them right now. The kids can be of any age, but when you spend time with them, it enhances your friendly connection with them. Which increases your chances of kids listening to you. Even if you give screen time to them, timely visits make them feel they are important to you. If possible be with them during screen time. Plan your day like you give alternate hours of being with them and playing individually.
3. Be proactive:
Vote for yourself first while eating. Motherly love cannot eat if kid has not taken meal, but if moms didnot eat, they can't handle kids. Most of us think of eating after kids' meal. Early eating is always good for young mothers, especially when kids are fussy eaters. You need energy to feed them, you need energy to clean up their mess. Even my daughter was a fussy eater, she took minimum of 40 min time to eat her cerelac. Meanwhile I used to feel hungry, and I couldn't pause her food, as she would not eat again. So I followed this step, and found myself more energetic while feeding her, more stories, more fun during meals. With my enenrgy levels down, I will not be in a good mood or energetic, so I may prefer mobile phone to stories.
4. Put first things first:
To fight post partum blues, 'me time' helped a lot. May be it is early morning or late night, choose to have atleast 30 minutes for yourself. Even if you child is a kid or grown up. With this you are teaching them to priority to themselves. There is lot of life beyond home. Atleast for 30 min a day take time to relax, or morning excercises, or simply sitting and enjoying.
5. Think Win-Win:
General excuse that we say about spending time with kids is our busy schedule. But effective mothers find time for kids. For example share chores while you are at home. Ask them to place groceries in almirah, ask them to bring veggies from fridge, load the laundry, likewise according to their age you can assaign small tasks. Your chores will be shared, and you will spend some time with them also they learn something. Even the working women can follow this, you can have more family time other than weekends.
6. Sharpen the saw:
In most of the cases environment and surroundings plays major role in the mental health. If you are a mother who wears pyjamas all the day, try to change your habit. You may not dress like you are going to party. But you can dress smart, at home too. Feel the difference when you wear pyjamas and a regular dress. Pyjamas makes you more sluggish as the days pass by. Normal dreess make you less lazy.
So first prepare your mind, to be active, ideas come along. Also make your living space or work space more pleasing. In the section sharpening the saw, you might think why space management or dresses come here. These will be one of the stepping stones for making your time effective with kids. It is like passing positive vibes to children too.
7. Synergize:
While the kid is around, dont use your mobile or electronic gadget. It will make them feel unimportant and triggers them for their screen time. So find your time for scrolling instagrams or facebook when your kid is out of sight. So synchronise with kids timings and you will find quality time for them. Giving undivided attention to kid is the best gift one can give.
As 'one-size-is-not-fit-for-all', the parenting tips will not be easy for all the mothers. But nothing wrong in trying it once. Feel the difference.
Happy motherhood!!
